i am sweating so much right now. but i am wearing my new wpi sweatshirt (well, one of them), and new shorts, and i just cant bring myself to remove them. so i’m going to drown myself in music and let out my thoughts with no regard to the absurd temperature i am allowing my body to remain at.
and i am going to keep ignoring my phone. i have about six or seven messages that ive read and have no desire to respond to, and more keep coming because i am ignoring them. i know, ridiculous! but there you go.
today was a legit day. i went to wpi for an academic advising day, and met some people, and was officially the least awkward person in existence at that school. which is saying something, because i definitely have insanely awkward moments; maybe not being the biggest nerd there did something to boost my self-confidence, but i have no doubts that my bubbly mood was related to the lack of work i had today! i am so happy i got the whole shift covered. i needed this day. i am getting sososo stressed out about going away, not because i am worried about the trip itself, but merely because i have a ridiculous amount to accomplish before this weekend. thank god i have martial arts this week still, so i can go and hit things as hard as possible and not worry about hurting anyone or anything, including myself.
but back to today! the academic advising day was pretty chill! i got to talk to the dean and some very nice people. i had the most random conversations with perfect strangers, including a mother in the women’s room. apparently there’s a lot to laugh about while you’re waiting for a stall. i am now the proud owner of two sweatshirts, a t-shirt, and sweatpants, thankfully all devoid of the wpi goat. i really shouldnt mind goats, being a capricorn and all, but really? we’re the ENGINEERS, why are we represented by a GOAT? just saying.
i created my potential schedule for next year today. i am so intimidated. don’t get me wrong, i am ecstatic to go to school, and i am going to love it, but seriously? i am going to be slammed. i mean, for studying alone, wpi recommends six hours a day. i don’t think i have studied for six hours in one day EVER. six hours a day, for three classes. plus, i want to do fencing, the air force, crew, snowboarding, and FIRST. and i was definitely interested in theater, and somehow i have to fit in a work-study, and STILL have a social life. fuuuuuuuuck. shelby maloney is going to be my inspiration throughout college. she has a work ethic like no one, she actually gets her work done. and i HAVE to get my work done, and i HAVE to do well, because i want to be the best in the air force so i can get a scholarship! i don’t want to be slammedd with debt the second i graduate.
i cannot wait to move on, but i am so scared i won’t live up to my own expectations. i don’t know for sure if i can handle everything i want to do. and i don’t know what to give up without being disappointed with myself. i suppose fencing club will have to be the first to go. calc 3, here i come! and on the subject of calculus, i attempted my math placement exam today. it’s not even mandatory, and it just provides a recommendation. i haven’t finished it yet. but i am determined at this point to pass calc 3! i dont want to retake classes i got ap credit for. but i reallyREALLY need to review before i go to school, or that will be the first course to go downhill.
i have so much to do this summer.
i swear i am not ignoring people, aside from my texts right now. i am just trying to balance everything out. albeit somewhat poorly, but after ridiculously long days, i just feel like sitting at home trying to finish the fountainhead so i can finally return the darn novel to mike bradley.
i want to go away and forget everything at home exists.
